X GERMAN EDITOR GENIOUS ( - put on the mask - )X___Here we are, in the middle of Hannover, Germany - The Birth-town of the scene's most honored and respected editor. People whisper his name when he crosses the street. Some fall on their knees, lucky to have been blessed with a mere, disparaging glance of him. Virgins offer him their innocence, but usually he refuses, for he draws most of his sexual satisfaction from writing articles and watching demos. Can you already guess who I am talking about?___As Insomnia guarantees discretion to everyone, I decided to refer to our outstanding superhero as "Dishrave". In case Dishrave thinks he has become a subject of bad description at least no one can know for sure whom this mysterious pseudo might belong to. That's a nice trait of ours, isn't it?___Although talking about Dishrave's hometown, I dare to claim that Hannover is no familiar name to you. Well, to put it in a nutshell, Hannover is as dead as the central graveyard of Detroit, but only as half as big. Furthermore Hannover has been under British imperial government some centuries ago, leading to the fact that the food you can get there is by far not consumable. This should be enough background information, let's go into detail on the subject at hand...___Dishrave is known as a very friendly and humane person, despite the fact that he started raping chickens and spilling their blood on tombstones. Why? Oh, he has become a member of a very satanic group lately, and he had to adapt their customs in order to prevent his instrument of spandimerda, also known as Greenjoint. (Name changed by redaction. -Ed.)Having been told by reliable sources that Dishrave likes to visit the video shop
every Saturday in order to rent some gay porno movies, I grabbed the opportunity
and lurked in front of the video shop. When he came out, with a red face full of shame and remorse, I jumped out from behind the bushes and surprised him with some questions..."Hi, Dishrave""Hum... What? Leave me alone.""I'm from Insomnia and I want you to answer a few questions. I will give you an original autograph from Offa / TBL if you agree - But your answers have to be honest. Ofcourse the information you give us will be treated confidentially. Nothing will reach public...""Insomnia? That No-Sense clone with ECS Gfx and Amos code? I tell you what; Greenjoint is coded in Blitzbasic, that's much better than Amos. Instead of ECS we make use of the much better OCS. Everyone should take an example of our work.""Ah, really? Well, this revolutionary concept of yours will surely revolutionize the scene. If we do it your way, we can maybe even defeat the PC scene once and for all. But you still didn't say whether you want to answer my questions or not""Hmm. My boyf.. Eh... Girlfriend promised to drop by and we want to see a romantic film tonight. Well, err... Could you maybe give me an autograph from ualizer aswell?""(Sigh). Ok... You will get two autographs, then."Fine! Well, you are allowed to ask me some questions now.""What do you think about Russian coders?""I know one with twelve fingers, waterhead and a recycled body - That speaks for itself.""Do you think all Russian coders are like that?""Ofcourse I do. I fear an invasion of Mongoloid monsters sweeping all over Europe, destroying our western technology with their weird way of thinking.""Maybe it is a fault to generalize. I mean, not ALL German editors are narcissistic, cynical, destructive and gay, are they?""But, ofcourse they are. Nevertheless, no German editor will ever be able to reach MY level of competence.""Erm, let's better change the subject. What would you describe as the source of your success?""Hah! Snatcher... I won't tell you one single word! After copying the design from No-Sense you dare to steal the contents of Greenjoint?!""I give you not only two autographs from very good-looking coders, I'll even add a T-shirt for you. With the face of Mop on it! According to certain rumors you find this guy attractive, don't you? And after all, our little chat stays strictly confidential anyway.""Mop?! Ok, I am convinced. You want to know why I am successful? That's easy... Just try to appeal to the most primitive instincts of human nature. There are newspapers making use of the very same idea. And believe me, they have huge success. Everyone claims not to read them, but somehow those news-people manage to sell a lot anyway. The same goes for Greenjoint. In order to be successful, humiliate your environment. You can also talk rubbish about people you don't even know.""Consulting my ethical standards and moral thinking, you are a very cruel person, then.""No, I just want to see my name in the charts. As long as people appreciate my way of writing, I will continue. I believe in the evilness of the human soul.""Do you have a heart?""No.""Wouldn't you like to have one?""Well, I already have a good side, but I cannot make a profit using it. I prefer staying evil. I mean, I don't have anything against the people I write about. Satanic verses were and still are my key to success. Moreover, I have to admit that this image is very fitting considering that I lately have become a Scoopex member, right?"___Overwhelmed by Dishrave's superior intellect, way of thinking and ability to put things in perspective, I headed for home. Boy, this guy really knows his way with words...X by Bytebreaker (c) Insomnia'98
